As the holiday season approaches, we at Bridges and Balm want to acknowledge that this time of year can bring complex emotions for survivors of abuse. While others celebrate with family gatherings, we understand that these traditions may carry different meanings for you. The bright lights and cheerful music can feel at odds with your internal experience, and in those moments of disconnect, please remember that your feelings are valid and understood.
Acknowledging Your Journey
The holidays often emphasize family, community, and shared faith—themes that may feel complicated in light of your experiences. Your feelings, whether they're grief, anger, anxiety, or a mix of emotions, deserve space and recognition. Some days may feel overwhelming, while others might bring unexpected moments of joy. If you choose to spend time alone, you might experience feelings of isolation or loneliness. Each of these experiences represents a normal part of your healing journey, and each deserves to be honored.
The season brings with it a tapestry of traditions that might trigger difficult memories or emotions. Family photos and holiday cards arriving in the mail might stir up complex feelings about family relationships. Even seemingly simple traditions, like gift-giving ceremonies or holiday meals, might carry emotional weight that others don't understand. The pressure to "be happy" can feel particularly heavy when you're carrying experiences that others cannot see.
Creating Safe Spaces This Season
If you're navigating the holidays as a survivor, we want to offer some gentle suggestions for self-care, knowing that you are the expert of your own experience. These aren't rules to follow, but rather invitations to explore what feels right for you.
Setting Your Own Boundaries
One of the most powerful acts of self-care is setting and maintaining boundaries. This might mean choosing which events feel safe to attend, and which ones you'll need to skip this year. Consider bringing a trusted friend to gatherings, someone who understands your needs and can provide subtle support or help you leave early if needed. When it comes to attending meetings or other churches, trust your intuition about what feels right for your spiritual journey right now.
Remember that "no" is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices about how to spend the holidays. Your safety and well-being come first, and those who truly care about you will understand this, even if they don't understand all the details.
Building New Traditions
As you navigate this season, consider that this might be a time to create new traditions that honor your current journey. Some survivors find healing in writing letters to their younger selves, acknowledging both the pain and the strength they've discovered along the way. Others create art or music that expresses their emotions, finding voice through creative expression when words feel insufficient.
Consider what brings you peace and joy now, not what you think you should enjoy based on past experiences or others' expectations. Perhaps you'll find meaning in hosting small gatherings with chosen family—those friends who have become family through their understanding and support. Some find solace in volunteering, channeling their energy into helping others while building new, positive associations with the season.
Embracing Self-Compassion
The practice of self-compassion becomes especially crucial during the holidays. Creating a peaceful space in your home or room can serve as a sanctuary when the outside world feels overwhelming. This might be a corner with comfortable pillows, favorite books, or items that ground you in the present moment. Think of it as creating a soft place to land when emotions run high.
Listen closely to what your body and mind are telling you. If you notice physical tension or emotional exhaustion, these are valuable messages asking you to slow down and care for yourself. Rest isn't just allowed—it's necessary. Your healing journey doesn't need to pause for the holidays, but it might need extra gentleness during this time.
A Deeper Message of Hope
To every survivor reading this: Your resilience shines through in countless ways, many of which you might not even recognize. Perhaps you've found your voice in small ways, learned to trust your judgment more deeply, or discovered your worth outside of others' validation. Maybe you've developed new ways of coping with difficult moments or created meaningful connections with others who understand your journey. Each of these represents a profound step in your healing.
The path isn't always linear, and that's perfectly normal. Some days might bring unexpected joy—a moment of laughter with a friend, a peaceful morning with your favorite coffee, or the simple pleasure of choosing how to spend your time. Other days might feel like steps backward, but even these are part of moving forward. Every emotion you experience is valid, every boundary you set is important, and every moment of self-care is an act of courage.
Looking Forward
Whether you're taking your first steps toward healing or continuing along your path, we want you to know that our community stands ready to support you. The holiday season will pass, but our commitment to walking beside you remains constant. While we've included crisis numbers and support resources below, we also want to acknowledge that reaching out for help is an act of immense bravery, one that deserves recognition and respect.
You are not alone in this journey. Your experiences are believed, your feelings are valid, and your healing journey is supported, whatever form it takes. As the year draws to a close and a new one begins, we honor your courage in continuing to move forward, one day at a time.
With unwavering support and hope, The Bridges and Balm Team
If you find yourself in crisis, please remember that help is always available. Reach out to National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673 or visit your nearest emergency room. Your life has value, and there are people ready to support you, day or night.
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